Within the team environment building unity requires a foundation of mutual trust. Once trust is formed, developed and maintained individually and corporately the culture will thrive with relational equity. In this article let’s take a brief look at how relationships are developed, maintained and broken. Exploring how our way of being impacts others is significant in developing unity. How I show up and when I show up impacts relationships.
The truth is everyone wants to be wanted, celebrated and valued. It’s important that I treat others the way I desire to be treated. One of the ways I know how other’s value me is whether or not they follow through with their promises. Breaking a promise quickly dissolves relationships. What I’ve found and witnessed over the years is that I might be a truth keeper in all of my business commitments, but other promises can be compromised or broken and I might see this as okay. This should not be. Take a moment before you continue reading and reflect whether you’re a habitual promise keeper or promise breaker.
Please allow me to share briefly how a recent broken promise for a non-business endeavor impacted me. My truck is currently in the repair shop. Last night we had a decent snow squall along Palmer Divide and normally driving to work is not an issue in the company truck with 4 wheel drive and snow tires. However, today I was driving a vehicle without snow tires. As a result in order to make this meeting early in the morning, that several people had committed to attending, I had to adjust my schedule. Even with forethought I was still a few minutes late to my meeting and became truly concerned about how my lack of preparation might impact others. The good news and also the bad news is that at another person was also late. This other person was only five or 10 minutes late on top of my 10 minutes being late therefore he was 15 to 20 minutes late. okay who’s keeping score?
Everyone of us at Integrity Roofing and Painting has a busy schedule and I would imagine you too are busy. I’ve discovered it’s important in higher level relationships to let the other team member know how they impact me with tardiness. Here’s the bad new for relational equity, there was a third person that was to attend the meeting this morning and he didn’t show up. I will have to do the hard work and have a discussion with this other person. Another persons way of being including their tardiness and absence needs to be addressed. Honestly, I felt devalued and unappreciated when he broke his promise. Again everyone has a desire and need to be valued and wanted. Know this that every time someone is late or absent from a commitment they are communicating a measure of relational equity to someone else.
When someone doesn’t value me enough to make adjustments with their schedule to meet with me it will have an impact on our relationship. When this happens I can choose to overlook the offense, forgive and forget or confront and forgive. I truly believe the kindest act is to confront the other person rather than try to sweep it under the rug. Stuffing emotions is unhealthy and not to confront is unhealthy. Â As a result I have to choose to confront the other person than to forgive. If I neglect to have the heart conversation with this person this person may not have the opportunity to transform. On the other side of the equation someone may be emotionally immature and clueless to how their way of being impacts others. At the end of the day caring enough to confront is critical.
Once someone forms a habit of not keeping their promises the team unity is broken with that person and the relational equity is diminished. This is something that everyone must avoid. In order to have a truly functioning team in relationships each person in that relationship must maintain the trust level and we must be habitually truthful and habitually trustful.
Ideally everyone would’ve been present for the meeting and on time. When everyone is present over time and habitually keeps their word trust is fully developed and relational equity is grown in a positive way. The opposite is true, habitually breaking promises destroys relational equity. Even worst is when a team compensates or enables this unwholesome behavior.  Everyone in community needs to understand how important it is to honor your own word. I am well aware of that and I understand how important it is to be to at meeting on time. When I’m late I own it without making excuses. Please reflect on your way of being.
Let us consider a different situation where we are developing and nurturing relational equity. I have found that in community it’s important to also honor people and remember them on birthdays and special events. Here at Integrity Roofing and Painting we like to make a big deal out of these. Our management team understands that they are to initiate the celebration for each team member. This is not done by one individual but it is embraced by our culture to celebrate birthdays and other significant events together.
Truthfully, I have been on the receiving end of being overlooked on my birthdays and that is not enjoyable. Everyone wants to be celebrated and we desire to do this faithfully, however we do it poorly sometimes. I’m hoping that your organization would desire to excel in celebrating each other.
Within our corporate community it is our desire to step outside of the bubble of work and to regularly build relationships outside of our four walls. Many team members enjoy hiking together on a regular basis. The good news is that we are able to meet early in the morning or evening on a mountain to hike together. The importance of this is creating value in each person outside of the scope of work. We do this not as a means to an end, but as a part of our human experience in the way we were created by God. Each person needs to be in relationship with others.
At the end of the day we are hardwired for community and we will never created to be isolated or lonely. I’m hoping that everyone within our team truly feels embraced and I’m hoping that within your team you’re able to create a culture of inclusivity for everyone. The lone ranger model is not healthy nor fun. We were created for relationship and unity. It is my desire that Integrity Roofing and Painting will strive in relational equity with one another and that we will manifest this by keeping our word with each other.
In addition, we regularly help and support one another spiritually, emotionally and financially. It’s not unusual for our team to help each other with moving or remodeling at our personal houses. Community life is a key to freedom from isolation and loneliness.
This year I am planning on writing more in regards to Unity and belonging emphasizing trust and other characteristics. I’d like to leave you with this thought. A lot of times many people get lost in the big picture and they forget to live in the present. Learn to live in the present.
By the way I spoke to the absentee party and now he understands how his way of being impacted me.